With that in mind I chose Josie interviewing me. From February 3, 2009, complete with original Tuesday intro, I hope you enjoy this lovely mother-daughter Tell Simmer mess.

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Welcome to a special Tell Simmer Tuesday. If you’ve missed it the last few weeks, fear not – there are a few special interviews in deep hibernation, just waiting for the right sunny day. In the meantime, my daughter staged a coup, and declared that the next Tell Simmer would, in fact, feature me. The result, I’m afraid, is navel-gazing at its finest; you will not find more colorful self-interest in the blogosphere, I tell you…unless you count David Lebovitz’s meme supreme, 89 Things About Me. I let Josie pick the questions, but kept it down to 14. Because Simmer’s just not that into me.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever eaten on pizza?

You know I don’t get crazy with my pizza. I don’t do pineapple and jalapenos like some people. You think you’re being cute, but – is this the first of 14 questions designed to get a rise out of me?

What is your favorite song to cook to?

If I am chopping onions I put on Joni Mitchell’s “Blue,” because if I’m going to be crying, I might as well be miserable.

What is your biggest kitchen disaster (if a cook as perfect as you has any?)

Again with the cute. Just because I tell you how to hold a knife and not chop your fingers off doesn’t mean I can’t mess up. You’ve only seen my experienced phase, not the early doofus years.

I’ve scrambled pastry cream and saved a few tippy wedding cakes – but I’d say the most unpleasant wreck occurred in my apprentice days at an extra-famous shmancy Chicago restaurant that Dad says will absolutely not be named now or at any other time. I accidentally omitted sugar from two souffles that were then served, and as I’ve noted before, people who order high-priced desserts want perfect, and behave rather badly without it. May your disaster never happen in a well-heeled dining room.

Who is the TV celeb chef you hate the most, and why?

Now this is just silly. You’re not going to get me to tell them that – the Internets are forever! Besides, she’s wildly successful – er, every day – and I’m just blogging about dinner. Every other day, at best.

What is your most hated dish at family gatherings?

What’s with all the hate talk? Haven’t we always told you that hate is a big word? That we only hate hot weather and frizzy hair?

That said…get serious. I can’t answer that, because I want them to still welcome you at Passover long after I’m gone. Everything on the table is fantastic. Every dish that every single person brings is wonderful.

What celeb would you most like to cook you a meal?

Hmm. I’ll take Harrison Ford – circa Working Girl – carrying a breakfast tray of waffles and mimosas. In a nice white hotel robe. Don’t tell Dad.

We all know that you don’t eat your own pastries very much. What’s the one sweet thing that tempts you?

Okay, you know this, but fine – Lemon Meringue Pie, Pecan Pie (warm, of course) and Key Lime Pie. In that order. Also, fresh-baked rugelach occasionally call from the tray. I am their first responder.

Who is your cooking or baking idol?

Julia Child. When I was five, I’d sit in front of the TV and goggle at Julia, whacking cleavers and slapping giant fish. When she raised her wine glass at the end and said “Bon Appetit,” I’d raise an imaginary glass back. I achingly miss Julia Child.

If you let me and Dad cook all week, what do you think would happen?

There would be a few frozen burritos, one half-peeled orange and a dozen trips to Free State Brewery.

Who is your superhero alter ego?

Wonder Woman, of course. The outfit, the power…the bracelets. Hey! That’s not a food question.

Describe your ideal romantic meal.

Dad and I are clinking glasses in Paris, and you are at military school.

Okay, you ask everyone else, so…what drink would you be?

Irish Coffee: warm and cozy, with a stealthy knockout punch.

Who do you think is the cutest celeb chef?

You are watching way too much TV. Tomorrow, it’s after-school potato peeling.

Who is your perfect sous chef? Moi?

Yes, it’s vous.

I should hope.

Except when you pitch fits about telling you things. Like – how to do them right.

Whatever.

Today is Mom’s birthday, and last year, we gave her…potato chips. Several thousand potato chips. It was a Potato Chip-of-the-Month club, and for months she happily signed for boxes – filled with bags – loaded with regional specialties like parmesan garlic, fiery jalapeno and even dill pickle-flavored chips.

We gifted her with chip heaven because what she really likes, no, requires, is potato chips. And also chocolate. Uh-huh. Potato chips…and chocolate.

Considering her status as a world-class snacker, she is a remarkably tiny person. You’d never guess she could put away three months’ worth of chips, or was known in her old office as the go-to chocolate girl. She cheerfully dispensed Hershey’s to sleepy co-workers like sugar band-aids.

Salt and chocolate and sugar. Sometimes, nothing else will do.

No avalanche of chips this year, Mom, just a virtual plate of salty and sweet…

…in honor of delighted snackers and the easy-to-please. Happy Birthday, Mom!