I don’t leave home without dessert. Call it fate or my fault, but I can’t appear at birthdays, baby showers or tax meetings empty-handed. I no longer run a kitchen or own a bakery - but even when I did, this sort of dessert was greeted, time and again, with the same phrase: you didn’t make that.

Well yes I did, I’d say, I did make that. Oh come on, they’d sputter, that came from a bakery. It was cute, it was flattering, and eventually, annoying. No, that looks like professional bakery.

Uh…I work in a bakery. I am a bakery. You’re paying for it. It’s bakery.

This went on. Even now with the apple-almond braid, even with family, fifteen years among them and still the same tease:

“You didn’t make that.”

(eyes roll into back of my head)

“Yes.” I hand a slice to Millie, on my right, who takes it and smiles. “I did.”

“Come on - did you stop at the bakery?”

“No,” I said, plating a slice, “I didn’t.”

“You did not make that.”

“Mm…sure did.”

“You stopped at the bakery.”

“Fine. I stopped at the bakery, okay?” Now they were listening. “Yeah. I stopped at the bakery - the bakery of me. Now who wants a slice?”

Today we are stopping at the bakery of…you.  You’re going to make this Apple-Almond Braid and amaze them - you’re going to coolly cut slices while they search for the white box.  This looks fussy, but it isn’t, and looks tricky, but it’s not.  It also looks delicious, and it is.  Bakery?  Uh-uh.  Today, this is how you roll.

Apple-Almond Braid

Slice apples and saute with sugar, just caramelizing to a tasty gold.

Lightly chop the cooked apples. Run out of the kitchen in an effort not to eat the cooked apples. Come back and vow to eat just a few.

On a lightly floured surface, roll the cream cheese dough out to a wide, slightly squared oval shape, long enough to fit lengthwise across a cookie sheet. Transfer dough to ungreased cookie sheet, allowing a slight overhang off the edges.

Spread almond filling lengthwise down center of dough strip, leaving about 2 inches bare on either side.

Pile those golden cooked apples on top of the almond filling, mounding evenly lengthwise down the strip…

…like so. And now we do a great trick, the one that will make them demand to see your bakery receipt: using a small sharp knife, slash diagonal lines along both sides of the filled strip. Start with your knife on the inside, closer to the almond filling, and pull the knife out, creating short strips, about 3/4″ wide. Cut short strips along both sides of dough, leaving “overhang ends” uncut and in tact. The strip should look fringed…

…sort of like a big apple-almond fish. Now, starting at one end, pull each strip toward the center, creating a “V” with each pair, loosely pinching together in the middle. Continuing pulling and pairing strips all the way down, until filling is covered and you have a “braid.”

To finish the ends, pinch overhang dough together, then pull up and roll over the cookie sheet, pinching to meet and seal the braid.

Oh my god, look what you did!  You’re some kind of domesticated bakery superstar, and you’re almost done.  Sprinkle finished, unbaked braid thickly with cinnamon-sugar mixture and sliced almonds.

Bake to a gorgeous crusty brown, sprinkle some powdered sugar, and prepare for bakery heaven…

…because that’s it. You get true bakery sights, sounds and tastes with just one chunk of dough, a few ripe apples and a new trick up your sleeve. Don’t forget to keep those sleeves rolled up - and by all means, remove that bracelet.
—————————–
Apple-Almond Braid

1 batch Cream Cheese Dough (below)
1 batch Apple Filling (below)
6 oz almond filling (available in supermarkets, canned)
1/2 cup sliced almonds
cinnamon and sugar, for sprinkling

1. Make one recipe of Cream Cheese Dough, below. Flatten into a smooth oval shape, wrap in plastic and chill until ready to use.

2. While dough chills, make Apple Filling, below.  Set apples aside to cool while you roll dough.

3. Preheat oven to 375 F.

4. Roll & Assemble the Braid: remove Cream Cheese Dough from refrigerator. On a lightly floured surface, roll dough to approximately 1/4″ thickness and roll to a large, flat oval shape, about 8-9 ” wide and as long as your cookie sheet, 17″ or more. Transfer dough to ungreased cookie sheet, allowing “overhang” off the edges at either end. Trim away any excess dough and refrigerate for other use (like…dough snacks).

Using spoon or offset flat spatula, spread almond filling lengthwise down dough strip, leaving about 2″ bare on either side. Mound cooled apples evenly on top of almond filling.

Using a small sharp knife, slash diagonal lines along both sides of the filled strip. Start with your knife on the inside, closer to the almond filling, and pull the knife out, creating short strips, about 3/4″ wide. Cut short strips along both sides of dough, leaving “overhang ends” uncut and in tact.

Starting at one end, pull each strip toward the center, creating a “V” with each pair, loosely pinching together in the middle. Continuing pulling and pairing strips all the way down, until filling is covered and you have a “braid.” Sprinkle finished, unbaked braid thickly with cinnamon-sugar mixture and sliced almonds.

5. Bake: place braid in lower third of oven and bake for approximately 35 minutes, until golden brown. Bake another 10 minutes on top rack of oven, until almonds are browned but not burnt, pastry is a dark golden brown and fruit juices begin to bubble. Remove from oven and cool.

To serve, lightly sift powdered sugar over whole braid. Serve slices warm, if desired, with vanilla ice cream.

serves 10 - 15

——————

Cream Cheese Dough

8 oz cream cheese, cold
8 oz unsalted butter, cold
2 cups all-purpose flour
pinch salt

Place flour and salt in food processor and process a few seconds, to blend. Chunk butter and cream cheese in pieces over flour, then process, using on-off motion, until dough just forms a ball. Turn out onto floured surface and knead lightly into a smooth mass. Wrap with plastic and chill until ready to use. Rolls best when cold but still pliable, on a lightly floured surface.

Apple Filling

5 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, and thick-sliced
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons corn starch
4 tablespoons water
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

Using a large and preferably non-stick frying pan, saute apples over medium-high heat with sugar and water, shaking pan occasionally, until just golden, browning and slightly sticky. Turn apples with heatproof spoon or spatula for even color. Cook until soft but not mush - watch carefully and do not burn. Reduce heat to low.

In small bowl, mix water and cornstarch to combine. Over low heat, add corn starch mixture to apples, stirring and shaking to thicken and distribute evenly. When done, apples should appear golden, glistening and still in soft slices. If too thick and pasty - i.e., white chunks of cornstarch appear - add a bit more water as necessary, turning to combine. Turn off heat, sprinkle with cinnamon and toss to distribute.

Remove apples from stove and cool until just safe to handle. Spread on cutting board and lightly chop, making large chunks. Set apples aside to cool before using as filling.

Spicy, please -

- green beans…

…Bo Ling’s.  Gong POW!

Peppers, ow.

Oops - someone else’s diary.   My excuse is the Jewish holidays - a different kind of cramming, as in brisket and barley and soup, a dinner last night at which the Simmer editorial board - I mean, family members - let me know they expected a new post up by noon, preferably one with funny stories about themselves. This is what it’s come to, dear readers, blog me.

I’m a little bleary and slow on the uptake today, but rest assured something good is coming, something involving meddling cousins and apples…

…sugared, dripping apples.  Apples with almonds in a flaky crust. Tie on your apron and rev up your rolling pins, because I’m prepping behind the scenes and we’ll be making it, right here.

But while we’re waiting, let’s examine one of the world’s most precious mysteries - Cleo’s nose.

Does it not remind you of two black olives?  Josie first pointed this out when Cleo was a puppy, and her little snout was still adorably Nicoise-size. But there’s no getting around it now…

…two giant Kalamatas.  Makes me want to kiss it twice - and maybe order a Greek salad, don’t you think?  Mm, now I’m hungry for lunch, which reminds me - this post, dear editorial board, is up before noon.

I admit it - every waking moment!

Coffee craving?

I am a plain old coffee girl. My craving is for a freshly brewed cup of coffee with a good slosh of cream. The aroma is a big part of it. I just love the smell of freshly ground beans.

Favorite hometown food?

I grew up in Palo Alto back in an era where an espresso was about as exotic a coffee drink as could be imagined, and women were burning their bras. Well, I was a kid and didn’t have a bra, but wished I could at the time… I think that is why the food I grew up eating was so grim - women were trying to get out of kitchen to join the workforce and began to rely on processed foods. My family didn’t really dine out much except for Shakey’s Pizza or Chinese food for special occasions. We always went to Andy’s Chinese on Castro Street in Mountain View. I don’t think that any of those restaurants are there anymore.

Since then I’ve moved around but always in the Bay Area, so I have favorite foods from all over the place: egg tarts and cocktail buns from Golden Gate Bakery in SF, or the dry fried chicken from San Tung in the City, zampano bread from Arizmendi at Grand Lake in Oakland, Huevos Divorciados at La Pinata in San Leandro, fresh tofu from San Jose Tofu…

Ever been served breakfast in bed?

I have and it’s too full of crumby things. I’d rather be served breakfast on the patio. If I could figure out the logistics, I would love to be served dim sum for breakfast in bed.

Your absolutely reliable, go-to dish for entertaining is:

Make your own sushi. I go to the Japanese market and pick up a variety of different sushi grade fish and roe and it’s so easy to serve with sliced vegetables like cucumber, green onion, carrot, daikon, avocado and a bowl of seasoned sushi rice. You can get these wonderful packages of toasted seaweed flavored with sesame oil and salt that are the perfect size to make small hand rolls. Everyone gets to assemble their own perfect bites.

Food that makes you gag?

Canned peas.

Worst kitchen disaster:

I’ve had so many it’s hard to say which is the worst…let’s go with a humorous one, which was one of the first times I ever had my now-husband over for dinner. I had a chicken all trussed with herbs and butter tucked under the skin, very Martha Stewart, which somehow slipped out of my hands in a dramatic fashion, almost as if the pan and everything leaped out of my hands into the air - flipping dramatically in slow motion and landing with a loud liquid splat. Needless to say, I made an impression on that man.

Three things in your refrigerator right now:

Fresh butter from the farmer’s market, bunches of fruits, and vegetables.

Your idea of a romantic meal is:

A sunset picnic with freshly shucked oysters out at the Hog Island Oyster Farm in Tomales Bay, where everything is bathed in the most beautiful golden later afternoon light. Especially this time of year, everything looks good in this setting.

Secret snack of shame?

I like fat with my fat and when I’m alone in the house, I’ll park at the table with a jar of Adam’s crunchy peanut butter and scoop piles of it onto any kind of chocolate.

Most ambitious thing you’ve ever done in the kitchen:

I am sure that it was related to the biggest disaster… I no longer even attempt ambitious but will gladly help out on someone else’s ambitious projects. Let the professionals be ambitious and my friends, who I hope will continue to invite me over for food.

Best restaurant if you’re not paying:

Manresa in Los Gatos or French Laundry in Yountville. I’ve never been, and really want to but haven’t been able to justify that $200ish price for a tasting menu.

If you were a cocktail, what would you be, and why?

A gin and tonic: effervescent, tart and slightly bitter.

Extra Credit: Where is the world’s best pizza?

I have not been around much in the world, so I’m going to translate that to mean my favorite pizza. Right now, that would be the wood-fired pizza at Pizzaiolo in Oakland, CA.

San Tung’s Dry-Fried Chicken @ Foodhoe’s Foraging

“Ganache is really the mother chocolate,” I was saying to the host, “just this simple mixture, but you can use it hot or cold, as a glaze, a frosting, a filling. In France it’s everything - it’s the chocolate building block for everything!”

Was I saying that? I heard my words sharp and separate, the way you hear yourself on the answering machine. I felt ill. I’d never cooked on camera, I’d skipped breakfast, and now I was two gulps away from heaving on the host. Then, something amazing happened – I not only heard my voice, I saw my hands moving, grasping a whisk, stirring cream into chocolate.

“You just pick it up around the edges a few times,” I said, stirring, “and move in wide circles.” Pick it up. What, the dry cleaning? Is my hair okay? Did I just touch my nose? I was still talking.

“…and then, toward the center. You just stir-stir-stir, and form a vortex.” The host was staring into the bowl. She doesn’t seem to know what a vortex is, I thought, clearly I was speaking a foreign language, in my head it sounded like bird language - so I whisked more vigorously, to show her.

It’s…a spinning circle, a whirling dervish, a swirling eddy. See how the cream and chocolate make a uniform, shiny center? The vortex.

After ganache, the show went on. The host cooed when I glazed chocolate hearts, and then the kirsch truffles looked divine, and aside from that unplugged mixer glitch, I began enjoying the lights, and the talking. I got bolder, gradually warming to my new, network-ready voice. Rolling truffles in cocoa powder, we went to commercial. “We’re rolling right along,” I sang, “and we’ll be right back!”

“Oh, that’s great,” said the producer, “I love that!”

I grinned the whole break, and turned to the host, giggling.  “This is going pretty well, don’t you think?  Next we’ll do the plating, and the rose petals, and…”

She was still, no longer rolling, frozen-eyed and tapping a fingernail on the stove.

Oh.  Now I sounded like a sick crow again. “O-kay….soooo….what are you going to say when we’re back?” Nothing.  “Should I roll more in sugar or more in cocoa?  Ha ha, is this thing on?”

Later I’d gather up my sprinkles and platters, and stuff my chocolate-splotched jacket in a grocery bag. I handed out chocolate-glazed hearts and cherry truffles to the crew, on little cocktail napkins. Thank you, I told them, thanks for having me, certain I wouldn’t be back. I passed the burly cameraman on the way out and he was munching a truffle, cocoa on his chin. I said goodbye, and whispered, “I think the ganache segment came out pretty well, don’t you?”

Chocolate Ganache
from Chocolate, by Nick Malgieri, HarperCollins, 1998

1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 pound (16 ounces) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

Optional ingredients can be added for flavor, richness and smooth texture. Pick one or all three:

1/4 cup light corn syrup (sweeter, shinier)

-or-

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened (richer, more flavorful)

Let the butter stand at room temperature until softened but still cool. Add the butter in chunks to combine during mixing.

-or-

1 teaspoon instant espresso powder dissolved in 1 tablespoon Kahlúa, any liqueur, or 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

To make ganache:

Place chopped chocolate in a medium-sized, heat proof bowl. Note that hot cream will eventually be poured over it and must cover it entirely. If whipping later, use a stand mixer bowl, which is perfect.

Pour cream into a medium saucepan over medium heat, and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and immediately pour over chocolate. Shake bowl, and allow to stand for about 2 minutes.

Stir with a whisk until smooth. If using ganache for a frosting, whisk in the optional room temperature butter chunks and corn syrup until smooth. If desired, whisk in the optional espresso powder dissolved in liqueur.

* Ganache can be poured warm as a glaze, cooled and spread as a stiffer icing, or whipped. Allow to cool less time if pouring (should pour like corn syrup), more for spreading consistency (like buttercream) and the most time for whipping (stiff, but not hard). Don’t let ganache get too cold, or it will not spread as frosting. To re-warm, place the heat-proof bowl over a pan of hot water while stirring to desired texture. Do not reheat to “hot.”

* Ganache can also be refrigerated or set aside. Cover with a piece of plastic wrap pressed atop the ganache and store. If refrigerated, bring to room temperature before using by letting it sit in a warm kitchen spot, about an hour to soften.

* Whipped ganache is used for making truffles, piping, filling or making a mousse. It must be cool to lukewarm when whipped, to whip faster and hold better texture. To whip, place ganache in a mixing bowl and whip it vigorously hand or with an electric mixer on medium-high, until mixture is fluffy and has lightened in color. Do not overwhip or mixture will become grainy. Use whipped ganache immediately.

Sorry, but I believe the brochure does clearly state that “every bite tells a story,” not “every bite tells a tightly crafted legal brief.”   And if you’re an efficiency expert you won’t be sitting through my fifth pie story anyway - so to each his delicious own.

That said - after a particularly long post, heavy with meaning and calories, I feel the need to tighten up, both literally and, as my jeans like to say, figuratively.  Maybe even stop talking about brownies.  I feel the need for a Ten-Word Thursday.

I considered naming this feature “Simmer Haiku,” or “Simmerku” or even “Simmer-Ku to You!” - but honestly, I couldn’t recall how many syllables form a haiku, and if they’re different printed or aloud, or if I could actually write a haiku about, say, chicken parmesan.  So let’s go with “Ten-Word Thursday,” a weekly outing in which I must explore one theme through a few pictures and just ten words. Oh, I see Greg slapping his money on the table right now, but I’ll show him - I rigged the keyboard to shock me at 9 1/2. Today’s theme: ice cream.

End of summer.

Dreamy dairy drips -

- away.  Butter Pecan. You?

Ha!  I love Thursday.

I have no new insights on brownies, and good is the only word that fits.  Brownie ties run deep and satisfy deeply; good from scratch, good from a mix, from the counter, the bakery, the party and the potluck. Surely every American man, woman, child and beast enters the world begging for brownies.

Years ago I dreamed of moving to Paris and opening a bakery - a cozy ex-pat shop with coffee, apple pie, chocolate chip cookies and brownies, every kind of brownie - iced or bare, with or without nuts, I was sure that Le Brownie would draw cheeky Parisians and comfort-seeking Americans. But today, after baking and eating enough fancy desserts - and brownies - to fill that imaginary store and more, I’m happy here, feeding my friends something pretty - something sweet, low, and easy.

I’ve learned the great chocolate secret: with just a few kitchen basics, the humble brownie easily climbs to a plated dessert, and wows your guests without overwhelming you.  Ready?  I mean, it’s a brownie.  You’re always ready.

Warm Mocha Brownies with Strawberries & Cream

You will need:

4 - 6 mocha brownie rounds
whipped cream
1-2 squares of good chocolate - Baker’s semi-sweet works fine
large strawberries
powdered sugar

About 1/2 hour before serving, preheat oven to 300 F.

Brownies: make a 9 x 13 pan of deep, dark Mocha Brownies (recipe below). When completely cool, cut shapes from the brownie “slab” with a tall, fluted cutter.  Wrap the cut brownies in foil and set aside, up to one day ahead.  Gather and eat the brownie scraps.  Immediately.

Whipped Cream: Using an electric mixer, beat about one cup of heavy cream with a little powdered sugar to nice, soft peaks. If you’re short on time, you can certainly use ready-made whipped cream. Set whipped cream aside.

Chocolate Shavings: Use a microwave to barely soften the chocolate squares, heating for a few seconds only. Watch carefully - chocolate should not feel warm or melted, just barely softened and room temperature.

Over a small plate, hold a chocolate square in one hand and a vegetable peeler in the other. Pull peeler down one long side of square to create rough curls and shavings. Repeat until you’ve created a small chocolate heap, and set plate aside.

Strawberries: slice or “fan” large strawberries and set aside.

Serving: Place mocha brownie rounds on a baking sheet, and warm in preheated oven for about 5 minutes, just to heated through.

Remove from oven and immediately place each round on a plate. Spoon or pipe whipped cream atop each brownie. Using a spoon, sprinkle chocolate shavings over whipped cream. Sift powdered sugar lightly over each dessert and garnish plate with strawberries. Voila!

————-

Mocha Brownies

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
2 1/2 cups golden brown sugar, packed
1 tablespoon instant espresso or coffee
6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 325 F.

Cut parchment or waxed paper to fit the bottom and sides of a 9×13-inch baking pan. Butter or cooking spray the pan. Press in the parchment or waxed paper to fit, and butter or spray again. Set aside.

In a large, microwave-safe bowl, combine the butter, brown sugar, instant espresso or coffee, and chocolate. Microwave on high for 1 minute, then stir. If chocolate is not softened, continue to microwave at 20-second intervals, removing before completely melted. Set aside to cool, stirring occasionally to release steam, at least 5 minutes.

Whisk the melted mixture to smooth, then whisk in eggs and vanilla to thoroughly combine. Switch to a spatula, and mix in the flour and salt until just combined. Pour mixture into prepared pan and smooth top with spatula. Bake in 325 F oven for approximately 30-35 minutes, or top appears dry, feels almost firm and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out nearly clean. Remove from oven and cool.

When completely cool and firm, run a knife around the edges of the pan. Turn the brownie sheet out onto a baking sheet, then invert again onto a work surface. Cut into squares or use cutter to create shapes, and serve.

How often do you think about eating?

More than the average person should. I’m usually either thinking about what to make for my blog or what to make for dinner. You are talking to a girl who goes to the Farmer’s Market or grocery store almost daily.

Coffee craving?

Venti, half caf, non-fat, Pumpkin Spice Latte, with whipped cream (this time of year). Other favorite is a Venti, half caf, non-fat sugar free Cinnamon Dolce, no whip. I have to laugh at that because before I moved to the Seattle area I just ordered whatever. I have been converted into that annoying person who says a paragraph just to order coffee!

Favorite hometown food?

For greasy burgers, Dick’s “Burgers by the bagful” Restaurant. That is my default restaurant (meaning if I can’t think of anywhere to go). Purple Cafe and Wine Bar. Dahlia Lounge for their fresh-made doughnuts with freezer jam and mascarpone.

Ever been served breakfast in bed?

By my mom when I was sick. Mickey Mouse pancakes, those can always cheer someone up.

Your absolutely reliable, go-to dish for entertaining is:

Roasted Onion and Gorgonzola Soup is one. Bacon-Wrapped Spare Ribs with Huckleberry BBQ sauce is another. Also my Blue Cheese Cheesecake with Onion-Pear Jam. If we are talking dessert than you can’t go wrong with my Croissant Bread Pudding with Toffee Sauce. I usually make a pretty mean cheesecake as well.

Food that makes you gag?

Oysters. I have tried and tried and they do it every time.

Worst kitchen disaster:

The time I microwaved and egg (to hard boil it) and exploded everywhere. Everything was fine until I took it out of the microwave. My poor mom was finding bits of egg for weeks to come. I could not believe how one egg could do so much damage!

Three things in your refrigerator right now:

Heavy whipping cream, unsalted butter, eggs….the pastry lover’s trifecta.

Your idea of a romantic meal is:

Staying at home. Ordering a ton of Chinese food. Spreading it out on the floor. Sit in front of my fireplace and just talk and eat. I am very big on the romantic meals being at home. I mean if the mood strikes at a restaurant, that could surely lead to an awkward moment.

I had only ever been to one restaurant where I felt it was truly romantic in the sense that our table was away from everyone. I find it hard to be romantic when I can see other people and vice-versa. There is a restaurant in Seattle called Canlis. They have a private room that you can get for just you and your date. It over looks the water. The food there is fabulous, but I have never been up to the private room but want to one year for my anniversary (no worries I have already hinted and flat out told my husband that).

Secret snack of shame?

Frozen twinkies. Honey Buns slightly heated. Strawberry Frosted Pop Tarts.

Most ambitious thing you’ve ever done in the kitchen:

Marcel Desaulniers Chocolate Caramel Hazelnut Damnation (from Desserts to Die For). I made it many years ago. It’s very involved and very fantastic.

Best restaurant if you’re not paying:

The Trellis in Williamsburg, VA. The Herbfarm Restaurant in Woodinville, WA.

If you were a cocktail, what would you be?

No cocktail, a beer. I am pretty laid back and likeable to most people. But if I have to choose a cocktail, I say Screwdriver. Not terribly sweet, but easy to go down. But if you are not careful, I could f- you up. See hockey reference.

Extra Credit: Where is the world’s best pizza?

Pizzeria Bianco, Phoenix Arizona.

We watched Maraca Kabob do an especially tricky interview with Bill O’Reilly - you know, he of the No-Sin - I mean Spin - Zone and all that. Candidate Maraca held his ground, but before the interview, Mr. O’Reilly described the reporters criticizing Sarah “Moose Meat” Palin - and indeed, he surely meant all who question the guns n’ lipstick governor - as “sniveling.”

He also called them “left-wing…”

and “…wine-drinking,”

and my personal favorite, “brie-eating.”

Well. If demanding the truth equals more brie for me, then guilty - and clearly sniveling, leftist and water-cracker-eating - as charged. Pass the slicer, pour the red, and don’t forget to vote!

The package thing, however, works a lot better if you’re actually home.  Last week I was in Chicago visiting my parents - by myself - and on the phone from home, Greg mentioned that a box had arrived. For me.

Really?  A package, hmm, nothing I had ordered, a box out of the blue, a box with my name on it!  So sad - forty years old and I’m aflutter for mail.

“So where’s it from?” I was talking in my parents’ living room, my mother in a big stuffed chair, perusing the fourth Restoration Hardware that week.  Now her ears perked up.

“It’s from Teller’s,” he said.

“Tellers.” The restaurant?

I should say that Teller’s is two blocks from our house.  What were they sending me, my favorite antipasto, to go?  Greg went on.

“Should we open it?”

“Oh, well…okay…oh fine, open it…”

Grrr.  Is there anything worse than someone else opening a package intended for you?

Well, of course there is.  But it’s up there - like Santa came and you weren’t home.  Not that Santa visits our home, not unless he is hankering for latkes on Christmas Eve - but you know, if I did fry latkes for Santa and then someone else ate them, that too would be bad.  In the same way. Whatever.

Josie chimed in - I could hear her ripping tape.  “It’s a board!”

“A board.”

“Yeah!”  she got excited, “it’s a breadboard, you know the breadboard, and the card says from Mom and Dad.”

the original breadboard of my dreams, at Teller’s

The breadboard, I repeated.  Across the room my mom was laughing.  Oh, that breadboard!

After I’d blogged about my crush on a simple piece of wood, they found it – hello, she just called the restaurant - and had it sent to me, which is lovely, but…now I was standing there. In Chicago.  And my surprise package opened by not-me back in Lawrence.  What do mothers, airplanes, the web and the US mail have in common?  They all work in mysterious ways.

look…right in my kitchen!

In review, the board is great.  My mom apparently had a nice little chat with the manager and learned the boards are made from reclaimed walnut, made by a buddy of his, right here in Lawrence.  Could they get me one?  Well, they don’t normally sell them, but sure, no problem.

Sheesh.  Perhaps I should post my wish list on the blog more often?

———————-

Dipping Oil from Baguette Heaven

1/2 cup olive oil
sea salt
fresh-ground black pepper
oregano and dried red pepper flakes, crushed together
grated parmesan or pecorino romano cheese

Whisk oil with salt and spices, seasoning to your taste. Top with a sprinkling of parmesan or romano, add sliced baguette or Italian bread, and dip away!