Eating My Words
Jul 10th, 2008 by Marilyn
When Josie was a toddler, I dutifully subscribed to family-activity-type magazines – and who knows why, because I always started with with “Look! We should go to that family tree-climbing resort in Costa Rica!” and finished by hurling it at the wall.
What ticked me off in those glossies were the food projects. Every kids’ activity involved turning string cheese into castles or candy bars into costumes. Why would they waste all that food, I’d demand to Josie, why? The poor thing would just flip the pages, dreaming of processed cheese. With people starving, why do they need to paste lettuce into hats?
Well, people, today I eat my words. Jean over at Renovation Therapy is hosting a Grey Gardens contest.* The Grey Gardens ladies are quite a sensation – but if you’re not familiar with Grey Gardens, it’s the true story of Big Edie and Little Edie Bouvier Beale, two Jackie O. cousins who lived out their splendorous, manic days in a decrepit Hamptons mansion.
Big Edie and Little Edie Beale, going bats
Made famous in a 1975 documentary, their story was also told in a Broadway musical and soon, a feature film. For her contest, Jean asked everyone to get in touch with their inner Edie and for most people, this meant donning scarves and faux furs. At my house, we tried something different.
Little Edie wonders: will I ever get away?
Don’t ask me why I had to make Edible Edies. It seemed like a stunning idea at the time – but last night, as I wrapped green apple-scarves and flattened bread into minks, it occurred to me that I was dressing eggs. And the photo shoot? If my neighbors had peeped through the window at ten, they would have spied me posing and shooting two hard-boiled dames. Work with me, Edies!
I’ve always had a thing for eggs, perhaps due to a conspicuous lack of Easter. Plenty of eggs at Passover to be sure, but…different. Not so decorative. So when I first worked in bakeries and Easter rolled around, I was thrilled to join the party, and hit the bunny trail with a vengeance. My co-workers would look over and say oh, my…um, elaborate. I’d look up and say what. Don’t all egg cakes get a working chocolate carousel?
With apologies to every family magazine that ever advocated graham cracker choo-choos, these are the materials I used for Edie Eggs:
two hard-boiled eggs
semi-sweet chocolate (glasses and eyes)
two yellow Skittles (brooches)
one pink Skittle (lips)
glittery sanding sugar (brooches)
three peppercorns (brooch)
three chocolate jimmies (brooch)
one corn husk (shirt)
corn silk (Big Edie’s hair)
one potato peel (collar)
one slice of Health Nut bread (mink)
one Granny Smith peel (turban)
one cherry tomato peel (lips)
So I went and wasted all that food – surely someone will miss their Skittles tonight – and now I’m not even sure they look like the Edies. More like a 1920’s flapper and an egg-shaped Harry Potter, but whatever. It was fun.
Now – if you’d like to see two adorable Edie dogs, one precious Edie baby and several hilarious Edie adults, run over to Renovation Therapy and vote. And remember, don’t play with your food.
* contest over! Time for a new one, Jean.
Your eggs…
I can’t even speak…
They rendered me SPEECHLESS…
Too funny!
Oh. My. Lord.
Will I ever get over the wheat bread mink? No. No, I will not.
GENIUS.
Marilyn, those are brilliant!
EXCELLENT! Just excellent! And the big question……on which salad will they appear? Does someone get to eat them?
They should have been on the Mr. Bill show!!
Oh, my gosh, you are cracking. Me. Up. It started with the caption under that photo: “Big Edie and Little Edie Beale going bats.” I thought that was funny enough. I had no idea you were about to decorate eggs to look like them. Hilarious. -Julia
P.S. I’m glad I’m not the only one who annoyed when recipes for kids call for turning sandwiches into sailboats.
Er, I mean, I’m glad I’m not the only one who GETS annoyed when recipes for kids call for turning sandwiches into sailboats. Sheesh.
FABULOUS! PERFECT! Really, they are too cute! *Love* them!
Wow, I had no idea that my favorite bread (Health Nut) could also resemble a mink coat! I hope you win!
the squashed skittles just shimmer…brilliant.
Glad to share the Edies! They won’t be appearing on salad – they are standing guard in the fridge, and when I opened the door this morning two little whacked-out eggs wearing bread minks were staring at me. It was quite an eye-opener.
Jean – smash the Skittles with a rolling pin, dip in water and then sanding sugar. Press a peppercorn into the center. Voila! Edible brooch.
Be sure to check out all the amazing entries at Renovation Therapy – I’m rooting for the dogs, the baby and the nutty lady in the orange dress.
Marilyn… I… I… I don’t even know what to say to this post.
You have entered a new dimension here.
A dimension of Grey Gardens and cookery and blogging and it is… just so… so… so very… very… it is like you are a freakin pioneer or something! Because no one could have ever done this before!
um, will someone please cast these eggs in a stop animation movie — now!?
Brilliant.
I’ve never thought of eggs as having the potential to be gay icons before, but you’ve definitely pulled it off. Fabulous!
Thanks – oh, how I enjoyed my trip down crafty lane. My mother actually said “what, you didn’t make them little surroundings, too?”
I would in fact attempt some eggy stop-animation, but Little Edie’s mink – much like the real Edie’s mink – is starting to mold.
Man! I love how you think.
Those are perfect in all of their weirdness!
Just like those bizarre women.
You know….April and Rechelle….
i’m head over heels jealous of your creativity! i’ve got nothing–my imagination is a dried-up well. you’ve done some incredibly fun work here–bravo!
I can’t begin to say thank you for your creation eggs!!! I loved the film (both) and your egg styles are dead on.
Your a “staunch” character indeed!
Your friend, Mark